I adapted a short story by Charlie Huston entitled "Twitch and Spray". Matt, Ryan, Trevor and I hung out late at BXL over the course of two nights and filmed it. It's definitely my most ambitious bit of filmmaking to date. And therefore the most likely to lead to disappointment.
I sent a link to the video to Charlie and asked if he wouldn't mind if I kept it posted on YouTube. He sent me the following email:
"Good work. The budgetary and schedule limits are evident, but I don’t think they really hurt you other than in the sound mix. Overall, a really good piece of guerilla film making. Give my props to all involved.
As long as you’re not making any $ off the thing I’d be happy to have you leave it up, but I do need to have a quick work with my lawyer (yeah, I know, lame) to make sure it’s cool. I’ll let you know if there’s a problem, otherwise, play on.
I’d also like to link it to my site. Any chance you’ll be able to improve the mix before I do so?
Best,
Charlie"
For some reason I was a little dejected by his response. I'm not really certain what kind of response I was expecting from him - "HOLY SHIT!!! That's the most amazing fucking video I've ever seen!!! You must MUST MUST make all of my books into movies!! No other filmmaker alive has your eye or talent!" Ridiculous, huh?
All in all he gave a positive response and for that I am grateful. He also helped me to take a more critical eye to my work and try and put my film making into perspective.
The video cost about $35 to make. And for a thirty-five dollar flick it's pretty fucking impressive. However, there really isn't any kind of market for $35 home movies regardless of their awesome-itude. Which makes me question my commitment to continue pursuing this silly dream of mine. I have an idea for one more short film that I'd like to attempt and then I think I'm going to drop off the face of the planet and devote all my energies into finishing this feature film script I'm working on and getting that actually made.
Besides - I've really been out of sorts the last few months. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize the face staring back at me. I've burned bridges with people very near and dear to my heart and I fully appreciate the fact that I must start making some healthier and more positive life choices.
"Your life has only as many pressures as you create."
We dig our own holes. And we, all of us, are responsible for cleaning up the mess we make by doing so. It's damn hard. But it can be done. One day at a time.
Rebuilding,
Kyle
