Never Back Down

I don't mind if
lies keep talking
but you never back down
it hurts me so much
no, I don't mind it
I'm glad to leave the earth
haunts me
never back down
hurts me
but you never back down
hurts me
just get it back
- Novastar

Maybe I shouldn't post vague thoughts and feelings on this here blog. Although, interestingly enough, the last post generated more responses quicker than anything else I've written. There seems to be a general consensus that I am responsible for my current situation in Life. Really? It's MY OWN doing? No shit?

The thing that kinda bothers me is the people that sent me various comments to that effect I thought knew me better than that. To the best of my thinking I cannot recall ever having blamed anyone other than myself for anything that has gone wrong in my life. And you all sure as shit know I take full fucking credit for my modest successes. Re-reading the post I don't see anything that says I blame anyone for how I was feeling. I was just in the process of thinking about how I isolate myself from others and push people that care about me away. I didn't really feel like posting my full thoughts on the subject and was basically just writing a note expressing a feeling I had.

The fact of the matter is I am unhappy with the person I have become. There was a point in my life about seven years ago that I was extremely pleased with myself, my life and how I was living it. I'm just trying to figure out how I went astray and how I can get back there.

Not backing down,

Kyle

Differences

"When you look back on your life, it looks as though it were a plot, but when you are into it, it's a mess: just one surprise after another. Then, later, you see it was perfect."

- Schopenhauer

As I get older, I am slowly learning the difference between 'being independent' and 'being alone.'

I thought I was one, but am coming to realize that I am actually the other.

Trying to keep it together,

Kyle